sit still.

Note to Self: some days all we can do is sit by and stare as the people we love hurt. there will be blood everywhere. the air would smell like agony and suppressed screams. and we'd be seated there, on the sidelines. a bunch of significant people performing the monumentally exhausting task of doing nothing... Continue Reading →


i miss all of you

of all the thing that i miss, i miss fighting with you the most. no, wait. i miss feeling that sense of security. that even if i fail and feel like an embarrassement, you will always love me. and somehow help me find my way again. no. i miss how you'd sit beside me and... Continue Reading →

the fool and the maiden

with each breath i take, i feed myself a prescribed dosage of lies. i'm happy, i'm smiling because i want to and oh! look how hilarious life is. the path i tred upon by myself is not colder, i do not miss your footsteps crunching on fallen leaves beside mine. but if i'm happy, why... Continue Reading →



there are some corners of you that you wish to never share. you want to fold them like a scandalous letter from a lover and tuck them in under that loose floorboard of your room. and those parts of you, so used to the creases running across themselves, fold easily. they disappear. it's truly fascinating... Continue Reading →


#allthingshome (vii)

i have never felt more grateful than i feel today for your strength and love. for your hands, patting my shoulder, telling me that it is okay for me to cry. for your little worries, right from telling me to get seven hours of sleep everyday to instructing me not to leave my phone charging... Continue Reading →



Note to Self: some days, doesn't life feel like a long stroll in the park? from your office desk to the mountains to the movies to the dozens of date venues to the nursery to the cemetery. and on some days, you hit the same spots but at a faster pace. like at a run.... Continue Reading →



Today, I decided to do something I never had the courage to do before. I relived your funeral. Every single moment of it. I remember Mittu's face falling apart with denial when I told her. I remember screaming because it hurt so much. I remember trying to call Appa refusing to believe it until he... Continue Reading →


letter to the sad friend

Dear friend, I'm sorry that life is mean to you. I wish I can smack that motherfucker in the face but I can't so all I can do is type out this letter to you in a semi-asleep state and hope that somehow, you will know that I'm here for you when your world is... Continue Reading →



there is a certain kind of loneliness that haunts my trove of memories. they cling to me like life clings to death. i do not roll around at night, i have no courage to face the cold covers on the other side. blue. it is a haunting sadness, the one which presses its lips beneath... Continue Reading →


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