chasing happiness

at seven, 

i wished on

a shooting star for

the kind of happiness

that was served 

on gleaming golden platters. 

instead i found you, 

waggy tail, hungry belly

and a predatory snout.



at thirteen, 

we wished on

a shooting star

in front of a mansion

that looked colder

than a winter’s night, 

holding laughter and 

sacred aromas

behind sealed doors;

we wished but

they remained shut

and nobody

slipped us the password;

instead, 

we got cold pizza

from the 

red-capped delivery boy

you bared your teeth at. 

at twenty, 

we found a home

in the woods and 

you brought friends over;

and I decided

to give that golden platter happiness

another shot at me;

So I wished and wished 

and wished away 

all those fantasies 

of the most basic

kind of warmth, 

the kind that 

one supposedly finds

in the embrace of a mother, 

upon that shooting star. 

two years after, 

i put you six feet under

beneath the naked, lying stars;

your comrades

howled away your loss

and avenged you;

the village was a

portrait of massacred flesh

smeared everywhere 

ruined by the ugly tint

of human unkindness;

the same unkindness

that shape-shifted 

into the early sparks 

of a forest fire

that claimed your hunted bones

and that of your comrades. 

that night, 

the stars wept

from my chest;

their tears 

rolled down my cheeks. 

but soon, 

the new century dawned;

i wished no more 

on shooting stars;

they imported laws

from creative minds

that spoke of you gently,

promising that you

and your comrades 

would be safe,

concealed from

the ugly tint that

my friends and I carried. 

but they lied;

at ninety,

i prayed

upon a shooting star

to take care of you, 

to rid my kind 

from your lands

so you can 

race the winds

and be at peace;

and before 

the star disappeared 

from my sight forever,

my eyes closed

and i saw you;

you smiled at me. 

and i found my

golden plattered happiness 

as i returned it;

and then i

drew in a breath, 

my last;

and we took off

together 

and chased all the winds 

that we could. 

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