I think it was a dream that I once had.
Clothed in a frilly white dress that sang every time I moved, sitting at the front of an empty bus that flew through clouds.
And my destination?
No 17. Dreamer Street, Cloud Kingdom,
Heaven – 045.
It’s funny that I gave Heaven an address.
But if you really think about it,
We all have labelled our lives as “Hell” at one point or the other and if that Hell can have addresses, why not Heaven?
The Heaven I got dropped off at was a four sided island.
A small, ninety degree angled box.
With clouds and water flowing through one single tap.
And there were four streets.
I have forgotten what the others were called but I remember Dreamer Street.
I remember walking down it in my uncomfortable white gown,
My hesitant footsteps echoing across the entire island.
Who would have thought that Heaven would be so lonely.
There were no houses.
There weren’t any people.
The weather remained the same.
The sun and moon co-existed or probably didn’t exist at all.
I never grew hungry.
But I grew restless.
And that’s why I broke the rule.
The one carved into the ground at the centre of the island.
“All residents are forbidden from leaving.”
And I thought, fuck that.
So I hopped onto the bus and reached a different destination.
This was loud, full of screams from victims and the cackles of their predators.
The dark pressed on me from all directions.
But I had hands, guiding me along.
Pleading on my behalf.
I think I walked through a court full of glass shards.
I remember crying.
I remember my screams.
I remember the laugh of my tormentor that took the face of my Algebra textbook.
And just when I thought I would break,
I found myself on unbearably hot sheets,
And the acrid scent of human sweat burnt my nose.
So I went to drown it out in the shower.
It was only five minutes into it did I realize that I was clothed.
In a frilly, white dress.
That sang when I moved.
And when I glanced at the floor,
Blood and water flowed down the drain from my still bleeding feet.
I never heard myself scream.
But I felt it as I woke up in bed, breathing heavily.